I live for little moments like that...

In the span of any given day here on the "homefront" while Nathan is gone, I often find myself begging God to please:

1. Bring him home magically for help with dinner/baths. :)
2. Let my kids sleep at the same time, PLEASE!
3. Allow me not to walk into any walls in my sleep deprived existence.
4. To let Christian stop calling me Mommy/Mom for 5 min...

The list could go on and on with all the little "requests" I send up during these days. I'm sure half of them don't even make sense. It's easy for me to get overwhelmed by my circumstances and forget the fact that I am in the constant company of two of the best blessings in my life. My poor earthly mind decides too often to focus on the troubles and annoyances of my day instead of the delights.

So, in this moment, I am reminding myself to simply live for the little moments like these:

1. Christian re-enacting "Are You My Mother?" after reading it twice in a row. He would run down the hallway and yell, nope, you aren't my mother! Then, he'd run back to me and say Hi, Mother! :)

2. Elena's beaming smile for no other reason than the fact that I'm her Mommy, and she likes when I talk to her.

3. Christian grabbing fiercely to my neck and hugging me hard and saying, Mom... I love you.

4. That's another thing... Christian now alternates between calling me Mommy and Mom. For some reason, "Mom" annoys me more coming from a two year old. But you know what? At least he CAN call me MOM. Thank you Lord for the fact that he is developing on track and that You've given him the gift of speech.

5. Elena's "talking" moments... she cracks me up with the little noises she makes, especially when conversing with herself in a mirror.

6. Christian handing Elena one of his beloved trains and saying, "Here, Lena...you have Harry!" I love that he's so willing to share with her.

7. Snuggles from my sweet, cuddly little girl. It's such a sweet feeling when she burrows her head in my shoulder and holds onto my shirt. I will miss these days when she no longer wants to cuddle. And I'm also reminded that I have been given these moments to treasure and hold so that I might be able to express them to Nathan in his absence. What an ache he must have not being able to hold our newest blessing or wrestle with his little buddy.

Lord, forgive my wayward, earthly heart for forgetting Your blessings and provision so many times. I worry about the future, I wish away the "hard times", I complain more than I should... teach me to live for the little moments. The smiles, the hugs, the cries, the tantrums... there's a lesson in it all. And everything is but a fleeting moment. I will blink and these days will be no more. Already, I feel as though I can barely figure out where Christian's 2 1/2 years of life have gone.

So for now, I will go without sleep... the body adjusts.
I will sometimes miss showers...that's what deoderant and lotions are for.
I will never complete a meal in one sitting... but I know that my kids are well fed and cared for.
I will miss out on more of the "girls' nights"... but enjoy the Thomas the Tank Engine movie parties with Christian and snuggle "girls' nights" with Elena.
I will go longer without adult conversations than I want... but know that these little conversations with my kids are things that forever memories are made of.
I will say "no" more times than I can count in a single day... but know that I am shaping the groundwork for the future.
I will wear dirty clothes longer than necessary... because sometimes the kiddo that spilled something or spit up on me needs an extra hug.

I will live for the little moments like this....

These are a few of my favorite things...

1. When Christian puts his little index finger to his chin and says, "Hmmm, yet's see...."





2. When Christian tilts his head to the side and says "Sminal" when someone takes a picture.





3. When I hear Christian wake up in the morning and open his door, only to find him laying in the doorway fast asleep when I go to get him a few minutes later.





4. Christian's little voice saying, "Mama...uuvvv ooooo" (love you)





5. The incessant asking of "Pwease, pwease, pwease..." when I have no idea what Christian is actually asking for.





6. The pure bliss that comes over Christian when he sees a cat. "OOOOOHHH, MEOWWWW!"





7. Sweet little slobbery kisses from my sweet little boy....

"Please listen, or Mommy will lose her mind..."

Yep, I actually said that to Christian today. And in the moment, I was completely convinced of the FACT that I would, indeed, lose my mind in any given moment if he didn't listen. We were in Michael's arts and crafts store and I just needed a few things... of course this turned into a half hour trip trying to keep an almost two year old under control in a store where there are so many "Touchables".

Why wasn't he in a cart you ask? Well, namely because the skies have been pouring rain since early this morning, and apparently every cart in the store had been left out at some point and they were all now sufficiently SOAKED. Nope, wasn't going to try to explain to Christian why it was okay that he get all wet... so the walking around the store ensued.

Aggghhhhh.... If I had a dollar for everytime I said "Please don't touch!" or "Christian, follow Mommy, please," I'd be a rich, rich woman.

Then came the entertaining moment of trying to figure out how to grab my bag after checkout and pick Christian up with my 31 week pregnant belly in the way and carry him and the bag and my purse through the pouring down rain without an umbrella. :) If that moment didn't make me lose my mind, then maybe (just maybe) I'll survive. :)

ahhh, motherhood....never a dull moment.

I love blustery fall days

And everything that goes with them. The smell of crisp, cool air. The leaves beginning to turn and crunch underfoot. The smell of apple cider and cinnamon, and woodsmoke as people fire up those fireplaces for the first time (I miss my fireplace!). I just LOVE fall!

I've decided fall is a great season to be pregnant in, too. Since I constantly feel as though someone's turned up the therostat inside my body, the cool air is a welcome feeling.

I also just realized today that we are four months from our due date. That may seem long to some of you, but four months is so short in the grand scheme! CRAZY to think in four months I'll have two children...that thought still overwhelms me sometimes! :) but in a good way of course.

In the meantime, I'm enjoying feeling Elena kick me more and watching Christian continue to grow and mature as a little boy. He's no longer a baby....man how time flies!

I can't wait to continue to watch and learn as all these seasons change...

Making it...

Yesterday was awful. I threw up most of the morning and felt just horrible the rest of the day. I didn't shower, never changed out of my pajamas, and just felt general disgusting. I know I probably had these days last time with Christian, but I feel like it's so much worse this time. Probably due to the fact that I'm trying to keep an 19 month old entertained this time around.

Poor Christian was cooped up inside all day and starting to go crazy and definitely driving me crazy. If I had a dollar for everytime I had to say (sometimes loudly) "No, Christian!" I wouldn't need to work at all! :)

This process the second time around is just so exhausting! I feel like a bad mom a lot of the time, but know that this just comes with the territory. I guess this too shall pass, and then I'll have another whole set of adjustments to make when there's two kiddos to take care of!

trying to keep my sanity,
Kate

Trying a new thing

After discussing the fact with Nathan that it was just "weird" that I didn't have a blog that I update on a regular basis with my thoughts and musings, etc... I have decided to try this one more time. I still have the kolb-family.blogspot.com and I will post pics and things there. But this will primarily be a spot for my (sometimes mindless) musings as I try to survive motherhood. :) Thanks for tuning in!